Such is the cry of many New Yorkers, be they natives or transplants. Even I roll my eyes when one of my jobs forces me to venture into Midtown, or when I have to leave Port Authority bus terminal in the morning for any reason other than getting on a subway. For most New Yorkers, the only reason to be caught dead in Midtown is if you have "Hamilton" tickets and you don't have a choice but to brave Times Square's sensory overload in order to get to the Richard Rodgers Theatre!
Downtown is cool. The East Village has hip restaurants, the West Village has great architecture and shops, the Lower East Side has culture and history, and even the Financial District has a lot of historical treasures to find.
Uptown is cool, too. The Upper East Side is home to so many museums, you guys, as well as lots of cool shops. (For some this means Bloomingdales, for me this means Shakespeare and Company.) Central Park is a gem that locals and tourists alike adore. No one can deny the charms of the Upper West Side and Harlem. And, well, I don't mean to brag or anything, but my beloved Hamilton Grange is uptown.
But Midtown. Poor much-maligned Midtown, forever doomed to be condemned as "but that's a touristy area!" For something to be deemed 'touristy' is a bigger curse than you may think - I've met New Yorkers who would rather ride to the Bronx in a subway car that someone shit in than spend even one second in the vicinity of Times Square.
But wait! Midtown is more than just Times Square, the Rockefeller Center, and the Empire State Building! And if you are stuck in the area (perhaps while waiting to see if you've won the "Hamilton" lottery, you're sticking close just in case) then there is still a lot to do! Never fear, my friends - here are my top ten reasons to venture into the cosmic horror that is Midtown.
For the purposes of this entry I am defining Midtown as above 20th street (because I'm sorry, Union Square is not Midtown) and below Central Park.
10. Get Your Geek On: Midtown Comics, Kinokuniya, and ThinkGeek
I'm listing these all together because the overlap in interest between them is pretty high, and because you can easily visit all 3 in the course of one afternoon. Whether your main geek thrill is superheroes, anime, video games, sci-fi, or fantasy, Midtown has a shopping place for you. Midtown Comics is the largest comic book store in the United States, with two of its three locations (including the flagship store) in Midtown. It's got everything, from Marvel and DC to more obscure stuff. I'm even tempted to go buy back-issues of "Tank Girl" there. Upstairs, they have toys and collectibles and even some manga.
But if you're a Japanophile or an Otaku or whatever the hell you anime nerds are calling yourselves now, you wanna head over near Bryant Park (which I'll talk more about later) to Kinokuniya. It's like the Japanese version of Midtown Comics - in that it sells manga and anime DVDs (not just in English, but also in the original Japanese, and in many cases in Korean and Chinese as well) and anime collectibles. It's also got a little cafe upstairs with Japanese snacks, so stop in for some green tea and mochi.
Lastly, you'll have to tread south about seven blocks or so to get to the Herald Square area. Most people head this way to get to Macy's. Yawn. Not you. You're going to ThinkGeek. Long known to geeks as an online store for all sorts of geek memorabilia, they've begun opening up real life locations, and their first was right here in New York City. This is where you'll find popular fandom stuff. Yes, there is some superhero and some anime stuff (for, like, popular comics and anime, like DC/Marvel, "Sailor Moon", and "Pokemon"), but if your geekery is more for, say, "Doctor Who" or "Harry Potter" or "Star Wars" or "Star Trek" or "Game of Thrones" or... well, you get the idea... then ThinkGeek is your place. Bonus: the floor above it is a GameStop!
9. The Turnstyle
To get to the Turnstyle - a small underground mall (I loathe most malls but this one is actually pretty cool, I promise) - you take the A-train, the C-train, or the 1-train to Columbus Circle. (I think the B and D lines run through, too, but I never take those trains, so do not quote me on that!) Get off the train - but do not exit the subway station! That's right, this shopping centre is in the subway station itself! It's definitely a cool idea, making good use of the space in a somewhat unique way, but this isn't an ordinary mall. There's no Macy's or Victoria's Secret or Forever 21. No, the Turnstyle has curated cooler shops than that.
It's small, and it's mostly eateries. There's a pretty good vegan place as well as a juicery - most of the eateries down here are healthy. The most unhealthy one I can think of is the Starbucks. (Unless you count Dylan's Candy as an eatery instead of a store.) There's a FIKA down here, which is my favourite Swedish café chain in all of New York. And as for stores? My favourite one is obviously the LUSH (I am shamelessly addicted to LUSH products), but there are stores for make-up, for artisan hand-made jewelry and clothes, and even for products for your dog! So if you have to venture into the Columbus Circle region for any area at all, and you have some money to spare (I know that's unlikely in New York, but...) I'd highly recommend checking this one out.
8. Search For Toynbee Tiles
This is a very niche interest, and this activity certainly isn't going to be for everyone, but since this is my list and this is something I'm interested in, it gets included. Your first question might be, "What the hell is a Toynbee tile?" In short, the tiles are mysterious artworks that began appearing quite literally on the street (usually in busy crosswalks) in the 1980s. They usually say some sort of variation of "Toynbee Idea in Movie 2001, Resurrect Dead on Planet Jupiter." Some of the later ones go on to ramble about conspiracies involving journalists and the FBI and the Soviets. They're a trip. If you're interested in learning more about them, I highly recommend the documentary "Resurrect Dead" which is floating around on the interwebs somewhere.
While they are found all over the eastern United States (as well as in South America), here in New York City most of them are around the Midtown area. (I've found one on 12th street, but other than that every single one I've seen has been between 30th and 50th street!) Apparently there are over 50 of them, one of the highest concentrations of Toynbee Tiles around the world. I've seen six. But if you're stuck being dragged around Midtown by tourist relatives or friends, spend some time looking down, tally up how many you find, and ponder what their mysterious message might mean.
7. The Museum of Sex
Definitely not one to take the kiddos to. It's exactly what it says it is - an entire museum about doing the do. And this isn't just a tiny one-room museum like the Italian American Museum or the City Reliquary - the Museum of Sex (or MoSex as it's sometimes called) is a large three-story building with rotating exhibits, a gift shop on the first floor that sells sex toys and BDSM tools, a café, and a bouncy castle made of giant inflatable breasts. I swear to you I am not making that last part up. I have been in it and is glorious.
The exhibits can be titillating (GET IT? TIT-ILLATING?) and erotic, but not always. Sometimes they're gross, yes, but sometimes they're funny. Or clinical. Or thought-provoking. The Museum of Sex is a lot of things. But it's never boring!
6. Morgan Library and Museum
I confess I haven't made it here yet. I've walked past the Morgan Library/Museum on my way to other things and I keep meaning to go inside and I just haven't gotten around to it, but it's on my list, and damn it I will get in there someday because just look at how pretty it is, like the Italian Renaissance by way of the Gilded Age! But if this list were only about pretty buildings (and don't get me wrong, I love me some pretty buildings) it would be a vastly different list.
The Morgan is home to rare manuscripts dating all the way back to the Middle Ages and priceless works of art. You wanna see documents related to Isaac Newton, Emily Dickinson, or the history of abolition in America? Bam, this place has that. You wanna see a Gutenberg Bible and a rare medieval tapestry? Here you go. Nathaniel Hawthorne's journal? Ancient Egyptian and Greek sculptures? Arts by Renaissance artists like Giovanni Francesco Rustici or Hans Memling? The Morgan has all of that! And, yes, similar artifacts can be found elsewhere in New York City, but in Midtown? Why wouldn't you check this out?
5. Koreatown
Chinatown is probably New York City's most famous "ethnic enclave" as they're often called (I know, isn't that name for them awful?) but Koreatown is way more hip and way less famous. Its location is weirdly unlikely - it's literally steps from the Empire State Building, to the point where a hapless explorer could very well take a wrong turn and suddenly end up surrounded by Korean neon signs. It's surreal, to be honest.
But I hope this hypothetical hapless explorer isn't turned off by the surreality of it all, because Koreatown has a lot packed into its relatively small space. If you are into nightlife, K-town has both nightclubs and karaoke bars, but what I like about it is the food scene. You see, I love Korean food, and sadly this was a love I did not discover until about 4 days before I moved out of California. (A friend of mine took me to a Korean restaurant and it changed my entire world - I fell in love with it and immediately had to leave it!) Koreatown has it all, from traditional to fusion with other cuisines (Mexican-Korean is particularly fun) to vegan. There's also shopping for Korean goodies, Korean bookstores, and Korean beauty parlours! So hey, maybe you can't afford to pay NYC rent and fund a trip to Seoul - K-Town's got your back!
4. Grand Central Terminal
Yes, it's touristy! But guess what, I don't care - unlike many tourist attractions, Grand Central lives up to the hype! I've spoken about this before, but I actually love it here and will take any opportunity to go, tourists or no. The building itself is just beautiful, especially the main concourse, pictured above. That ceiling, painted in shades of turquoise and gold, is just beautiful and I'm awed every time I look up at it - even if the constellations are technically incorrect.
Grand Central could just be a beautiful building. It could just be a train depot. But there are ways to kill a lot of time here. There's a decent market that sells high end food where it's fun to poke around and occasionally get free samples. There's an outpost of the New York Transit Museum, which has fun exhibits relating to the history of the subway, and in the wintertime a holiday train show. And, of course, there's my beloved Great Northern Food Hall, which I've already gone on and on about on this blog. Some tourist attractions, it seems, are worth seeing, even for those of us who consider ourselves 'above' it all.
3. The Museum of Modern Art
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| "Christina's World" by Andrew Wyeth |
Now, because I've not yet been to MoMA I cannot say a lot about it. But those paintings are amazing, legendary even, and you can see them right here in New York City! If you can afford it (or if you go on their free Friday nights), why wouldn't you jump at the opportunity to do so!?
2. Bryant Park
First off, I'm gonna get the most important thing out of the way. Bryant Park is a great place to pee. I'm serious - this park's restrooms have regularly been recognised as a great place to empty one's bladder, especially in a place like New York where public bathrooms are so hard to find, you're mostly forced to settle for the shittiest toilet you stumble across. (And I do mean that literally - I have, more than once, happened upon a public bathroom covered in feces. Bryant Park's, however, is always clean, so that's nice.)
But even after you're done peeing, it's a green space worth sticking around for. It's got some decent eateries - one of my favourites is Wafels and Dinges, which is sadly overpriced but god damn if you have $7 to spend on a waffle it is so worth it. There's a carousel and often there are jugglers who will teach you to juggle for free if you ask them! There's lots of public art around the park to explore, and you can play chess or backgammon or ping pong, or read one of the books or newspapers the park supplies in their reading room. Sometimes they even offer art supplies! In the winter time, the park even has a winter market with unique shops and eateries, as well as an ice skating rink. This is a park that goes above and beyond. It's well worth seeing.
1. New York Public Library Main Building
This library is famous. You've seen it even if you've never been to New York. It was haunted in "Ghostbusters". Carrie Bradshaw almost got married here in the "Sex and the City" movie. It's been featured on both "CSI" and "Law and Order". It's worth visiting for the architecture alone, from the grand sweeping staircases to the legendary ceiling in the Rose Room.
The library is practically a museum, though, and you can find a new treasure every time you visit those grand halls. Currently they're running an exhibit on art from Renaissance-era Venice, but even out of the main exhibit there are treasures to be found. This library has a Gutenberg bible. This library has letters written by Alexander Hamilton and paintings done by John Trumbull. And even in the children's room, this library has the very stuffed animals that belonged to A.A. Milne's son and inspired the "Winnie the Pooh" stories.
Oh, and you can read from their massive book collection, too. If you're into reading at libraries, that is.
Narrowing down this list was shockingly difficult. There were a lot of things that got left off (Caffebene, Scandinavia House, the McGraw-Hill Waterfall tunnel, the Japan Society, The Algonquin, etc) which only goes to show that even Midtown can be kinda cool - if you know where to look!
-Nym
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