A Gift Guide in the Loose Sense of the Term

Iiiiiiit's the season of holidays! Hanukkah! (Which technically ended already but shhh goyim don't know that.) Kwanzaa! Christmas! Winter Solstice! Yule! Saturnalia! Festivus! Probably like ten others! And you know what that means?

Is the answer 'Stock photos'?

It means that in today's capitalist hellscape of a world that we are all forced to live in, there's a lot of pressure to get the perfect gift!

This gift guide is... probably not going to help find the perfect gift for anyone. (But if it does, hey, you're welcome!) What I do hope is that this will at least help you think outside the generic gift box that most other 'gift guides' I've seen fall into...



For your friend who's really into crystals/incense/chakras/what have you...

An aura photo

Hey remember when I got this done? It was actually a pretty neat experience, and here in New York City, Chinatown's Magic Jewelry only charges $20 (cash only) to get this done! If your New Agey friend is more into experiences than material objects this will really tickle their fancies! Unfortunately, I don't know of any places in other cities that do this, as I only can speak for the city I live in. But fear not, I thought up a second option!

A wire-wrapping kit 

So your new agey friend likes crystals, huh? Why not get them something like this so they can wear their favourite crystals everywhere they go, right next to their heart? (Or their heart chakra if they believe in the chakra system.) The particular kit shown above is from Amazon, but they also sell these at Michael's Craft Stores if you'd rather go buy it in person.

For fandom geeks...

A Custom Fandom Tea Blend from Adagio Teas

Tea is a wonderful soothing beverage during winter time in the Northern Hemisphere (Australians and New Zealanders, you guys can make iced tea or save it for June/July), and Adagio Teas has carved out a unique niche in letting users create their own fandom inspired blends. No matter what your friend is into - Supernatural? Gravity Falls? Doctor Who? Adventure Time? Star Trek? Game of Thrones? Hamilton? - chances are, Adagio will have something that fits their tastes. (Even if the fandom is really obscure)

For your Atheist friend who grew up Catholic...

Communion Wafers

Ah, the sweet, bland, papery taste of nostalgia. If you know someone who grew up taking communion but can no longer stomach the idea of sitting through a Catholic mass, did you know you can buy (non-consecrated) communion wafers on Amazon? Because of course you can. I don't understand the appeal myself, but get these for your friend and reenact that scene from "Ladybird". Because what's Christmas without a bit of blasphemy, amirite?

For gender rebels...

How to Be You, by Jeffrey Marsh

Jeffrey Marsh is quickly becoming a nonbinary icon. They're also an acquaintance of mine, though so far every time we've been in the same place I've been too starstruck to strike up a true friendship. Nym why are you like this. Their book is definitely on my to-read list, and is available through Thriftbooks or through Amazon. For those of us who fall outside the gender binary, it's super exciting to see someone like Jeffrey living their true self so openly. Why not inspire your friend this holiday season?

LGBT Nasa shirt

Sorry not sorry you guys, space is gay culture now. (Oh, who are we kidding? Space has been gay culture since at least the 1960s, when "Star Trek" premiered.) And Redbubble has a ton of shirt options no matter which flavour of the rainbow your friend identifies as. As a bonus, many of these designs are also available as stickers if that's more their speed!

For your lesbian art hoe friend...

Fun Home by Alison Bechdel

Alison Bechdel got me through college. Her Dykes to Watch Out For was a huge inspiration for my own art, and her autobiography Fun Home is just as amazing. It's been adapted into a musical as well (the song "Ring of Keys" moved me to tears the first time I'd heard it because it was so close to my own experience) but if the person you're buying this for hasn't read the original yet, they're missing out. You can order it on Thriftbooks.

My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Kabi Nagata

Available here on Thriftbooks - I just bought this one for myself, as it came highly recommended by many of my friends and fellow lesbians. I haven't gotten very far into it myself, but so far it's a very relatable story about a 28-year-old lesbian who has never had sex before. I will warn that the artist is quite candid about her experiences with self harm and eating disorders, but it is worth a read, especially if you're buying a gift for someone who is into manga.

For parents of small children...

Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls by Elena Favilli and Francesca Cavallo

Unfortunately, it's currently out of stock on my go-to Thriftbooks, but it's available on Amazon, and likely at your local bookstore as well.

For your friend with "Trump-induced anxiety"...

An essential oils diffuser

Sarah has the one pictured above, which you can get on Amazon here for what's actually a pretty affordable price. With this one you can change the colour of the light display (including having it cycle through an entire rainbow) or run it without lights if you want to use it while you sleep.

For history nerds...

Alexander Hamilton's Guide to Life by Jeff Wilser

We used to sell this book at the Grange. It's a lot of fun, and very lighthearted and easy to read. You can buy it here on Thriftbooks. Alternately, if they're not a Hamilton fan, get them a biography of their favourite historical figure. If they say they don't have a favourite historical figure, they're lying.

A Historical Finger Puppet

The Unemployed Philosopher's Guild has a ton of historical, literary, and political figures available as magnetic finger puppets. (You can hang them on your fridge when not playing with them.) Pictured above is Nellie Bly, a historical heroine of mine.

For California expats...

Anything from the In-N-Out Burger Online Shop

In-N-Out's animal style fries are only good fresh, so you can't really ship them (god I wish you could...) but the California cult favourite burger joint has an online store with everything from tube socks to tree ornaments! (Actually I'm really tempted to buy myself the socks... I love socks...)

A Homesick Candle

The website Homesick Candles comes up with all-natural soy-wax candles based upon different locations. They have both a NorCal and a SoCal candle (because the rivalry is hella real, yo), as well as individual city candles for San Francisco, Berkeley, and Los Angeles. No San Jose candle (yet), but the San Francisco one apparently smells like coffee, chocolate, ocean, and sea moss, with just a hint of iris.

For Murderinos...

The Serial Killer Files by Harold Schechter

I am obsessed with the "My Favourite Murder" podcast, but my interest in true crime goes back far further. This book, which is available on Thriftbooks, is tawdry, entertaining, and was a favourite of mine back when I was in my early twenties before podcasts blew up. I used to take it to the convalescent home my father lives in and read horrific tales of murder and mayhem out loud to him and my sister. The nurses thought we were damn nuts, but everyone in my family loves this stuff! This book was written for Murderinos before Murderinos were a thing, trust me!

For home chefs...

Herb scissors, a garlic press, and/or an immersion blender

The immersion blender is what's pictured, but I'm listing these all together because, as someone who likes to cook, these are all essentials in my kitchen! The herb scissors and the garlic press save a lot of time that chefs waste hand-mincing herbs and garlic, and an immersion blender is such a nifty gadget that saves you a lot of effort that would be spent pouring stuff from a bowl into a regular blender and back again - less dishes to do, too. My mother bought me an immersion blender a couple years ago and I absolutely love it.

For East-Coasters...

A Dr. Silkman's Lotion Candle

East coast winters are harsh on your skin - a lesson I've had to learn the hard way! If you live in New York, these guys have a booth at the Bryant Park Holiday Market, but if you live elsewhere you can order from their etsy shop. These babies are nifty and make you feel so luxurious - you light it like a regular candle, fill the air with the delicious scent, and then use the hot melted wax - really a warm body oil - as a hydrating lotion. Sarah bought me one last year in a honey scent called "The Bee's Knees" and I loved it so much I ordered one for my mother.

For gay trekkies...

A rainbow tribble

While we're on etsy, why not get a rainbow tribble? As anyone who's seen the classic Star Trek episode "The Trouble With Tribbles", tribbles are adorable as long as you don't feed 'em! I actually bought Sarah one of these in August, so this is another item I can personally vouch for..

For your friend who journals...

The Atlas Obscura Journal

This journal, available on the Atlas Obscura website (as well as at major bookstores - I bought mine at Barnes and Noble) is fun because it has a variety of pages - blank, lined, graph, dotted - as well as guides to major worldwide cities (like New York and London) and a pocket in the back to store treasures like ticket stubs and unused stickers from your friend's travels.

Film for their Fujifilm Instax Mini 8/9 Camera

If they journal, they most likely have one of these cameras. And that film is not cheap to keep replacing all the time, so they'll always appreciate more. I mean, I know I always do! Pick from a selection of frame colours and patterns, but make sure you know which model of camera you're buying for!

For your friend who says "my son/daughter" when discussing their cat...

Anything at all as long as it comes in a cardboard box.

Let's be real, the box is what the cat is going to go for anyway.

Whatever holiday you and your friends celebrate, may it be happy and healthy! And stay warm! (Or cool, for all my friends in the southern hemisphere.)
-Nym