Top 5 Eras of History I'd Like to Visit

I expect absolutely no one to be surprised by the subject of this entry. It's something that even casual history fans have considered. If you had a time machine that miraculously gave you immunity to any illnesses of the past and the ability to understand the language of where/when you would visit, where would you go? What would you do? While it is hard for some to narrow it down, I tried to. Here are the top 5 eras of history I would like to visit, and what I would do there (in chronological order).

What's Going On In My Life

A recent entry in my journal

I don't expect this to be one of my more popular entries, but I figured for those who were curious I'd just give a quick update about things that are happening in my life right now...

• Sarah's last day at work was Monday, and she flies out of California tomorrow. She doesn't know yet if she plans to come back next summer or not. It's easier this year than it was last year, knowing I'll be with her in only a couple of weeks.
• My last day at work will be on 31 August. I cried when I gave my two weeks notice.
• I went out recently to the San Jose Museum of Art with a girl I met on OkCupid. (Yeah, I gave in and reactivated my account...) I had a great time and highly recommend the museum's current exhibit if you can get to it! And now I know I can meet people online in person and do well.
• Hung out in downtown Willow Glen with Sarah on Wednesday. We waited in line for an hour for an ice cream place called Icicles. It was good, but not 'wait for an hour' good. I expect this to happen to me at least once in New York.

•  Last night, I went to an early showing of "Kubo and the Two Strings". It far exceeded my expectations, and I cannot recommend it enough. Go see it!
• I've officially applied to every paying museum position that I qualify for in all five burroughs of New York City - including Staten Island! None of them have gotten back to me yet other than automated 'we got your resume' e-mails, but it took my current job a few weeks to contact me so I'm not too worried. My mother wants me to apply for some dental positions just in case.
• I've got a couple apartment viewings scheduled in Brooklyn so hopefully I can find a place to stay soon. If not, there's always AirBnb for the time being.
• Regina Spektor has a concert in New York in October and Sarah said she'd go with me. I hope tickets don't sell out before I get my next paycheck.

So that's my life lately
-Nym

Bright Young Things

Art by me

(For the best possible experience, put on a playlist of old jazz music. Or Postmodern Jukebox.)

New York City, 1926.

Happy Birthday Sarah!

I've been writing less lately simply because I've been so very stressed lately, between finding an apartment (not very successful so far), finding a job (less successful), and getting rid of most of my stuff (let's not even go there). So sometimes it's nice to have an excuse to just shove all that aside for a day and celebrate something. And yesterday I did just that. Because yesterday was Sarah's birthday.

Her family wanted to plan a surprise party for her, so I was recruited. I told Sarah on Saturday night that I was taking her out to lunch on Sunday, which wasn't technically a lie. And then yesterday, I picked her up, stalled for a while (we battled some gyms in Pokemon Go) until her mom sent the text that everyone was ready, and drove down to Downtown Willow Glen.

Coping Mechanisms For When I Get the Bad Feelings

As long as I'm being open about my experiences with mental illnesses, I figured I would go ahead and list some of my coping mechanisms for how to deal with depressive spells and anxiety attacks.

A spread from one of my journals

• Journaling. Nothing is as big a help to me as my journal is. I've been journaling for over a year now and I have no idea how I survived without it. My journals are a physical manifestation of what's going on in my brain at any given moment, and feeling like I'm creating something is a huge help!
• Calling a friend. It needs to be a phone call, not a text message, and it needs to be someone I trust enough to call when in that state. But sometimes what I really need is to hear a friendly voice.
• Watching documentaries about 19th-century immigration to New York. Don't ask why. I don't fully understand this myself. There's no reason for this to be so comforting to me, and yet sometimes sitting down and watching the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th episodes of PBS's "New York" documentary series is the only way I can help myself put things in perspective.
• Meditation.  I know it sounds cheesy but it really does help, the breathing techniques I've learned through meditation work wonders.
• My 'rainy day tag' on tumblr. My tumblr dashboard can be really bad when I get in a Mood, but when I'm not in a Mood and I see something that would help me, I'll reblog it with that tag. For me, it's mostly inspirational posts and cute animals, but if you have a tumblr or pinterest (a pinterest board would be fantastic for this purpose) it could be whatever helps you.
• Crafting. It's the same concept as the journaling, in that creating can be helpful. It helps to feel useful and it can be a good way to throw yourself into something and get rid of excess anxious energy.
• Playing Pokemon Go. I know, I know, it sounds dumb, but the game's system of hatching eggs and going to new places to catch new pokemon gives depressed individuals an incentive to pull themselves out of bed and going on a nice walk, which can be majorly helpful.
• Reading a childhood favourite book. When I was young, my favourite books were the Anne of Green Gables series. (The first three are in the public domain now so you can download them to an e-reader for free!) I still love the books to this day, I love the happy writing style, and Anne's ever-present optimism, even with all the trouble she gets herself into, is endearing. Bonus - it's also a historical series (it takes place in the Victorian and Edwardian eras). It's really nice to be able to escape the modern era sometimes. So sometimes I just need to put on some classical music, light a lavender scented candle, heat up some peppermint tea, and crack open Anne of the Island.

These are just some things that work for me. They may or may not work for you. If not, what are some things that have?
-Nym-

On Mental Illness and Suicidal Ideation

[SEVERE TRIGGER WARNING FOR TALKS OF SUICIDE]

Image credit: Freeimages

I don't write about it much because I don't want people to see me any differently and it's not the most pleasant of blog topics, but I also don't want people to get the idea that it's shameful or wrong so I'm just going to bite the bullet and come clean.

I am mentally ill. And sometimes that means I want to die.

Whatever Happened to Baby Starre?

This is a post about nostalgia more than it is about one person. I would just like to make that clear off the bat. One person was the catalyst that allowed me to think of this post, but this post isn't about her, not really.

Anyway.

This blog has been running for a little over half a year, but this is far from my first blog attempt. I have been blogging since 2004. Back then it was on xanga (does anyone remember xanga?) but once I found blogger/blogspot, I never turned back. (Okay I did flirt briefly with wordpress but we weren't compatible.) And one of my first successful blogger blogs (seriously, it got way more popular than I dreamed) was... a fashion blog! Shock and horror! Moreover, it was a pastel fashion blog! (I won't link to it here but it is still online for those who care to look for it.)

I know that must come as a surprise to anyone who knows me, since I tend to favour either casual goth or tomboyish outfits now, but back when I first became a legal adult I experimented in wearing all the frothy little girlish hyper feminine looks that my mother didn't let me wear as a kid. (She tried to dress me more ~sophisticated~ than my peers, which was really frustrating when all the other girls got to come to school in Disney princess pink concoctions.) I don't really regret it even if I would never dress like that now. I wore sweet lolita. I wore fairy kei. I wore hime lolita. And, though I couldn't ever afford it, I admired hime gyaru from afar.

And there was one blog that epitomised the idea of this hime fantasy brought to America. The enigmatic Starre Princess.