Top 10 Romantic Excerpts of Letters Between Hamilton and Laurens

I sincerely doubt that, within my lifetime, there will ever be a definitive answer to the question “did Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens have romantic feelings for one another?” Their letters certainly do seem to suggest so to some people. Even if one takes into account that men were a lot more outwardly affectionate with one another in the 18th century, the way these two spoke to each other was unusually romantically charged even for the time.

This may or may not end up a controversial post. I hope it doesn’t but inevitably when one brings up the possibility that anyone involved in the founding of this country was anything other than ultra hetero, it makes certain people ultra upsetero. But guess what - I don’t give a fuck. I’m almost 30 and frankly I’m done caring what straight people think when I speculate.

Also I’m not alone in this speculation - the theory that John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton May have had feelings for each other that were way more than friendly is not a new theory! I know some people want to pretend that this is something teenage “Hamilton” fans on tumblr made up (and even if it were, fuck off? Let teenagers - literal children - have fun while they try to find representation for themselves?) but this is actually a legitimate scholarly debate that’s been going on for years. There is a long-running gay veteran's club in San Francisco named after Hamilton, the New York City LGBT sites project lists Hamilton Grange in its LGBT historical sites list, so this is clearly a legacy that means a lot to a lot of people, regardless of whatever the general consensus ends up being. Even mainstream Hamilton biographer Ron Chernow had this to say about it, even if he was slightly “no homo” about it:

As the war progressed, Hamilton wrote to Laurens with such unbridled affection that one Hamilton biography, James T. Flexner, has detected homoerotic overtones in their relationship. Because the style of eighteenth-century letters could be quite florid, even between men, one must tread gingerly in approaching this matter, especially since Laurens’s letters to Hamilton were warm but proper. It is worth noting here, however, how frequently people used the word feminine to describe Hamilton – the more surprising given his military bearing and virile exploits... Hamilton had certainly been exposed to homosexuality as a boy, since many "sodomites” were transported to the Caribbean along with thieves, pickpockets, and others deemed undesirable. In all thirteen colonies, sodomy had been a capital offense, so if Hamilton and Laurens did become lovers – and it is impossible to day this with any certainty—they would have taken extraordinary precautions... At the very least, we can say that Hamilton developed something like an adolescent crush on his friend.

[... ]

For Hamilton, the news [of Laurens’s death] was crushing. ‘Poor Laurens, he has fallen a sacrifice to his ardor in a trifling skirmish in South Carolina,’ he wrote sadly to Lafayette, the other member of their war triumvirate. ‘You know how truly I loved him and will judge how much I regret him.’ The death deprived Hamilton of the political peer, the steadfast colleague, that he was to need in his tempestuous battles to consolidate the union. He would enjoy a brief collaboration with James Madison and never lacked the stalwart if often aloof patronage of George Washington. But he was more of a solitary crusader without Laurens, lacking an intimate lifelong ally such as Madison and Jefferson found in each other. On a personal level, the loss was even more harrowing. Despite a large circle of admirers, Hamilton did not form deep friendships easily and never again revealed his interior life to another man as he had to Laurens. He became ever more voluble in his public life but somehow less introspective and revelatory in private. Henceforth, his confessional remarks were reserved for Eliza or Angelica Church. After the death of John Laurens, Hamilton shut off some compartment of his emotions and never reopened it.

Historian Thomas Foster writes this about it:

Virtually all other biographers ignore the love between Laurens and Hamilton. One author, for example, mentions every aspect of Washington’s sexual scandals, however untenable, and thereby highlights his virility, but makes no mention of the controversy around how to read the Laurens correspondence or the fact that some historians for decades have been using it as evidence of same-sex love. Indeed, the book, which highlights “intimacy” in the Founders’ lives, limits itself to that shared between men and women, despite the fact that the author’s conceptualization of intimacy is not solely sexual and include bonds between parent and daughter and platonic, if flirtatious, male-female friendships. The decision to leave aside intimate bonds between fathers and sons and also between men leads perhaps to Laurens’s being cast as a participant in a decidedly heterosexual relationship. 

As to what I believe... well, I’m sorry, but I don’t have a definitive answer myself. I do think John Laurens probably was gay. He definitely was depressed and seemed to seek death, and before Hamilton he flirted with Francis Kinloch. Yes, Laurens married a woman, Martha, but it seems to have been out of duty rather than romance. Tumblr user john-laurens makes a far more detailed and convincing argument for John Laurens’ sexual orientation. As for Hamilton, of course as a gay I want to believe that one of my favourite historical figures was bisexual. I don’t want to say that he was or was not for sure, but, as “The X-Files” would say, I Want to Believe

Either way it’s fun to speculate. And hoo boy once you read some of these letters I wouldn’t be surprised if you were speculating too. Besides, just speculating doesn’t hurt anybody. I mean both guys involved are long dead, I doubt they really care what some lesbian with a blog says. It’s not like I would EVER say anything about this at the Grange while giving a tour. (Not unless someone asked me directly, I am a professional.)

Without further ado, I present to you words actually written by John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton (mostly Hamilton as he wrote more) that, to be honest, would not look out of place in a love letter.



10. A.H. to J.L.

"In short, Laurens, I am disgusted with everything in this world but yourself."

Jesus fucking Christ, Alex, could you be anymore dramatic?  A short line to start us out, but I'm including it because it shows of both Hamilton's flair for the dramatic and Hamilton's seeming inability to ever consider John Laurens as anything but good. This in and of itself isn't inherently romantic of course - I mean I act the same way with Sarah - but with everything else on this list it does paint a pretty intriguing picture.

9. J.L. to A.H.

"Adieu, my dear boy. I shall set out for camp tomorrow."

This is another short line, the shortest on this list, but I really wanted to include it because - in all of John Laurens' letters to everyone he knew - the nickname "my dear boy" is only ever used for Alexander Hamilton. He does not call Lafayette this. He does not call Francis Kinloch this. He does (in a letter to... his father, if I'm remembering correctly? I'm not sure if I am.) call his wife "my dear girl" (performative much?) but he addresses Alex directly as "my dear boy" which is... telling.

8. A.H. to J.L.

"If you should not readily meet with a lady that you think answers my description you can only advertise in the public papers and doubtless you will hear of many competitors for most of the qualifications required, who will be glad to become candidates for such a prize as I am. To excite their emulation, it will be necessary for you to give an account of the lover—his size, make, quality of mind and body, achievements, expectations, fortune, &c. In drawing my picture, you will no doubt be civil to your friend; mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don’t forget, that I <– – – – –>"

Yes, this is from the letter where Hamilton is asking Laurens to find him a wife. That whole letter is a delight, but you may be wondering why I'm including it here. Context is important, you guys. You see, at that time a long nose was thought to indicate that the man also had a long penis. Alex is telling John about the size of his dick. Of course, this alone isn't that romantic - straight frat dudes do that all the time - but it's worth noting

Also note the five dashes. Those five dashes represent five words scratched out by one of Hamilton's sons who was editing this letter for publication. Said son wrote next to this edit, "I must not publish the whole of this". I'm dying to know what Alex wrote that didn't make the cut when item five on this list (involving a threesome) was deemed a-okay to publish. Or, as someone on tumblr (whose blog seems to have been deleted...) worded it:

what did hamilton write to laurens that was so saucy that “hey remember my dick? tell any eligible ladies abt its size” and “have a threesome w me and my wife” made the cut but those five words were censored i gotta know

Later in this letter, Hamilton writes that he does not actually want a wife at this point in his life (it was before he met Elizabeth) and that he only was teasing John Laurens.

7. A.H. to J.L.

"We [Washington’s family of officers] all love you sincerely; but I have more of the infirmities of human nature, than the others, and suspect my self of being byassed by my partiality for you."

In short, Hamilton is saying "everyone here adores you, but no one adores you more than me." Which is, frankly, adorable no matter how you slice it.

6. A.H. to J.L.

"I am sure you will exert yourself to save your country; but do not unnecessarily risk one of its most valuable sons. Take as much care of yourself as you ought for the public sake and for the sake of Yr. affectionate A. Hamilton"

At this point in their friendship/relationship/whatever, Alexander was well aware of John's tendency towards self-destructive behaviours, a tendency noted by multiple people who knew Laurens. Here, Alex is begging John to take care of himself and not rush headfirst into danger - if not for his own sake, then for the sake of Alexander Hamilton. He lists himself separately from "the public sake", which could definitely be taken to mean that he thinks of himself as caring more for John Laurens than the general public does - again, telling, considering that John Laurens was very highly regarded, being that he was the son of Henry Laurens, the president of the Continental Congress at this point during the war.

5.  A.H. to J.L. 

"In spite of Schuylers black eyes, I have still a part for the public and another for you; so your impatience to have me married is misplaced; a strange cure by the way, as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted than I am now. Let me tell you, that I intend to restore the empire of Hymen and that Cupid is to be his prime Minister. I wish you were at liberty to transgress the bounds of Pennsylvania. I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation. My Mistress is a good girl, and already loves you because I have told her you are a clever fellow and my friend; but mind, she loves you a l’americaine not a la françoise."

Things I want to note here. First of all, the phrase "final consummation" is underlined:

Second, yes, this means exactly what you think it does. Alexander Hamilton is inviting John Laurens to come to his wedding night. Not the wedding itself, but the consummation part. Because friends invite friends into threesomes with their wife I guess? Despite this, he is stressing that Eliza likes John "a l'americaine not a la françoise" - i.e. platonically, not romantically. So tell me, if Eliza is not attracted to John Laurens, who are you inviting him for, Alex?

Thirdly, the aforementioned "cure" - as if Laurens thought marriage may cure Hamilton of any affection he had for Laurens. Hamilton seems eager to reassure him that it hasn't.

Of course, it is important to note that Alex did love his wife. He very much did love Eliza. Also Eliza very much deserved better than Alexander Hamilton, but that's the subject of another post.

4. A.H. to J.L.

"I acknowledge but one letter from you, since you left us, of the 14th of July which just arrived in time to appease a violent conflict between my friendship and my pride. I have written you five or six letters since you left Philadelphia and I should have written you more had you made proper return. But like a jealous lover, when I thought you slighted my caresses, my affection was alarmed and my vanity piqued."

I'm gonna touch more upon this in the next entry on this list, but Laurens occasionally fell into spells where he didn't write letters for whatever reason (my theory is depression, as his occasional "melancholy" was noted by contemporaries). This is from one of many many letters where Alex is admonishing him for not writing more often. I am including this excerpt because Hamilton calls himself "a jealous lover" which is... an interesting choice of words, Alex.

3. J.L. to A.H.

"Adieu, my dear friend; while circumstances place so great a distance between us, I entreat you not to withdraw the consolation of your letters. You know the unalterable sentiments of your affectionate Laurens."

This is the sign off of Laurens' last letter to Hamilton before he was killed in battle. And it is by far way more affectionate than most of his other letters - Laurens usually signed off with a simple 'Adieu' - especially if you consider the theory that Laurens was going through a major depressive spell at the time. Many letters from this time are from Hamilton, begging John to write him, as Laurens went a really long time without writing him anything. And yet he writes this - begging Alex not to stop writing him even if he can't always bring himself to write back. As someone who suffers from depression myself, I feel bad for the guy - I know what it's like when depression makes you unable to perform even the very simplest tasks. I almost wonder if his final charge into battle (after the war was technically already over) was a suicide. But again, that's a theory for another post.

2. A.H. to J.L.

"Peace made, My Dear friend, a new scene opens. The object then will be to make our independence a blessing. To do this we must secure our union on solid foundations; an herculean task and to effect which mountains of prejudice must be levelled! 
It requires all the virtue and all the abilities of the Country. Quit your sword my friend, put on the toga, come to Congress. We know each others sentiments, our views are the same: we have fought side by side to make America free, let us hand in hand struggle to make her happy.
[…]
Yrs for ever
A Hamilton"

This is from Alexander's last letter to John, a response to the letter in #3 on this list. And I should note that Hamilton signed this "Yrs. forever" - a phrase that he only ever used with one other person, that person being his wife Elizabeth.

I am sad to say John Laurens never saw this letter. He was killed by a British bullet before he received it.

1. A.H. to J.L.

"Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by action rather than words, to convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that ’till you bade us Adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you. Indeed, my friend, it was not well done. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind, and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments, and to keep my happiness independent on the caprice of others. You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent. But as you have done it and as we are generally indulgent to those we love, I shall not scruple to pardon the fraud you have committed, on condition that for my sake, if not for your own, you will always continue to merit the partiality, which you have so artfully instilled into me."

This is honestly one of my favourite things Hamilton ever wrote.

Also, I know this post is about the historical figures and not the "Hamilton" musical, but look, Lin-Manuel Miranda is into it too:

It was INCREDIBLY HARD to narrow this down to ten. (I'm still a little heartbroken that "My ravings are for your own bosom" didn't make the cut - because seriously, Alex, who the fuck writes that to someone who is just a friend???)

But I hope you now see a little of what I mean when I say that, reading these letters, it's a hell of a lot of fun to speculate what might have been. And gods, do I wish I could have seen what these two were like when they were in each other's presence.

-Nym