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Showing posts with label queer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label queer. Show all posts

22 January 2019

NYC's Gay Culture of the 1920s, and the Invention of 'The Closet'

A group of lesbians at NYC venue Webster Hall [Public Domain]
In the popular imagination, most people imagine that gay culture in New York City started in 1969 with the Stonewall Riots. This has always kind of pissed me off as a gay person, if only for the reason that if you even try to bring up the idea of anyone having a gay life before the 60s people just assume it couldn't be possible. As if we as LGBT folk didn't exist until the late 60s as anything other than the occasional person hung for sodomy or something. Condescendingly, many straights imagine that the gays of yore must have become self-loathing and passively spent their entire lives in the closet until Stonewall happened. Not that the Stonewall Riots weren't tremendously important, of course - that's not at all what I am saying - but gay clubs didn't get their start with Stonewall and Julian's and the Duplex, and the systematic suppression of the LGBT community was not due to some age-old, unchanging social antipathy, nor was it a sign of passivity by LGBT people. Anti-gay forces created the closet in the early 20th century.

Believe it or not, there was actually an earlier gay subculture in NYC - and it wasn't some hidden illicit thing! Granted, of course many straight people disapproved, but people were open about this subculture, and it was even written about in papers! And when else could this have happened but in the era of, as Cole Porter (a gay man himself) put it, "Anything Goes" - The Roarin' Twenties?

This was an era of, after all, the breaking down of pre-WWI social norms, as well as cultural experimentation and an overall irreverence for authority. Greenwich Village and Harlem in particular had a huge number of speakeasies that catered to gay men and lesbian women. One such club was known as the Hamilton Lodge. (It wasn't named directly after Alexander Hamilton, but after the neighbourhood of Hamilton Heights where it was located, which was named after Hamilton.)

19 January 2019

Top 10 Romantic Excerpts of Letters Between Hamilton and Laurens


I sincerely doubt that, within my lifetime, there will ever be a definitive answer to the question “did Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens have romantic feelings for one another?” Their letters certainly do seem to suggest so to some people. Even if one takes into account that men were a lot more outwardly affectionate with one another in the 18th century, the way these two spoke to each other was unusually romantically charged even for the time.

This may or may not end up a controversial post. I hope it doesn’t but inevitably when one brings up the possibility that anyone involved in the founding of this country was anything other than ultra hetero, it makes certain people ultra upsetero. But guess what - I don’t give a fuck. I’m almost 30 and frankly I’m done caring what straight people think when I speculate.


Also I’m not alone in this speculation - the theory that John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton May have had feelings for each other that were way more than friendly is not a new theory! I know some people want to pretend that this is something teenage “Hamilton” fans on tumblr made up (and even if it were, fuck off? Let teenagers - literal children - have fun while they try to find representation for themselves?) but this is actually a legitimate scholarly debate that’s been going on for years. There is a long-running gay veteran's club in San Francisco named after Hamilton, the New York City LGBT sites project lists Hamilton Grange in its LGBT historical sites list, so this is clearly a legacy that means a lot to a lot of people, regardless of whatever the general consensus ends up being. Even mainstream Hamilton biographer Ron Chernow had this to say about it, even if he was slightly “no homo” about it:
As the war progressed, Hamilton wrote to Laurens with such unbridled affection that one Hamilton biography, James T. Flexner, has detected homoerotic overtones in their relationship. Because the style of eighteenth-century letters could be quite florid, even between men, one must tread gingerly in approaching this matter, especially since Laurens’s letters to Hamilton were warm but proper. It is worth noting here, however, how frequently people used the word feminine to describe Hamilton – the more surprising given his military bearing and virile exploits... Hamilton had certainly been exposed to homosexuality as a boy, since many "sodomites” were transported to the Caribbean along with thieves, pickpockets, and others deemed undesirable. In all thirteen colonies, sodomy had been a capital offense, so if Hamilton and Laurens did become lovers – and it is impossible to day this with any certainty—they would have taken extraordinary precautions... At the very least, we can say that Hamilton developed something like an adolescent crush on his friend.
[... ]
For Hamilton, the news [of Laurens’s death] was crushing. ‘Poor Laurens, he has fallen a sacrifice to his ardor in a trifling skirmish in South Carolina,’ he wrote sadly to Lafayette, the other member of their war triumvirate. ‘You know how truly I loved him and will judge how much I regret him.’ The death deprived Hamilton of the political peer, the steadfast colleague, that he was to need in his tempestuous battles to consolidate the union. He would enjoy a brief collaboration with James Madison and never lacked the stalwart if often aloof patronage of George Washington. But he was more of a solitary crusader without Laurens, lacking an intimate lifelong ally such as Madison and Jefferson found in each other. On a personal level, the loss was even more harrowing. Despite a large circle of admirers, Hamilton did not form deep friendships easily and never again revealed his interior life to another man as he had to Laurens. He became ever more voluble in his public life but somehow less introspective and revelatory in private. Henceforth, his confessional remarks were reserved for Eliza or Angelica Church. After the death of John Laurens, Hamilton shut off some compartment of his emotions and never reopened it.
Historian Thomas Foster writes this about it:
Virtually all other biographers ignore the love between Laurens and Hamilton. One author, for example, mentions every aspect of Washington’s sexual scandals, however untenable, and thereby highlights his virility, but makes no mention of the controversy around how to read the Laurens correspondence or the fact that some historians for decades have been using it as evidence of same-sex love. Indeed, the book, which highlights “intimacy” in the Founders’ lives, limits itself to that shared between men and women, despite the fact that the author’s conceptualization of intimacy is not solely sexual and include bonds between parent and daughter and platonic, if flirtatious, male-female friendships. The decision to leave aside intimate bonds between fathers and sons and also between men leads perhaps to Laurens’s being cast as a participant in a decidedly heterosexual relationship. 
As to what I believe... well, I’m sorry, but I don’t have a definitive answer myself. I do think John Laurens probably was gay. He definitely was depressed and seemed to seek death, and before Hamilton he flirted with Francis Kinloch. Yes, Laurens married a woman, Martha, but it seems to have been out of duty rather than romance. Tumblr user john-laurens makes a far more detailed and convincing argument for John Laurens’ sexual orientation. As for Hamilton, of course as a gay I want to believe that one of my favourite historical figures was bisexual. I don’t want to say that he was or was not for sure, but, as “The X-Files” would say, I Want to Believe



Either way it’s fun to speculate. And hoo boy once you read some of these letters I wouldn’t be surprised if you were speculating too. Besides, just speculating doesn’t hurt anybody. I mean both guys involved are long dead, I doubt they really care what some lesbian with a blog says. It’s not like I would EVER say anything about this at the Grange while giving a tour. (Not unless someone asked me directly, I am a professional.)

Without further ado, I present to you words actually written by John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton (mostly Hamilton as he wrote more) that, to be honest, would not look out of place in a love letter.

17 January 2019

These Gay WWII Soldiers Will Break Your Heart



I apologise for the clickbait-y title but as soon as I read about these two earlier this week I knew I wanted to cover them on the blog. I've been on a bit of a kick lately about proving that LGBT history didn't start with Stonewall (there are three other half-finished posts in my drafts involving LGBT figures during the American Revolution, the Regency period in England, and the 1920s) because I'm so tired of the straightwashing of history, you guys.

But I saw a post about these two men on facebook (one of those 'Did You Kno?' graphics with very little information and no sources - my sources are from BBC news and the Oswestry Town Museum) and was immediately curious enough to google everything I could in an attempt to learn more.

What I learned was that, in the notoriously homophobic 1940s, British soldiers Gilbert Bradley and Gordon Bowsher (THEY EVEN HAD THE SAME INITIALS YOU GUYS!) fell in love. I present to you all the tale (and excerpts from the letters) of Gordon and Gilbert.

13 January 2019

Single Again

Out of respect for the other human involved, I have decided not to post any of our couple pictures. Instead have this stock photo of an emoji

The thing about a whirlwind romance is that it's nice in theory. In reality it moves way too fast and leaves pain and heartbreak in its wake.

Look, I'm almost thirty. One issue with being a lesbian in a heteronormative world is that it's very common for us to start way too late. Things that straight people get in their teens, we don't experience until our twenties, because our teen years are spent dealing with figuring out we're different and then struggling to learn not to hate ourselves when all our classmates use "that's gay" derogatorily so that we feel like we must be as awful and trashy as whatever they deem "gay".

At least, that's how my teen years were spent.

But I digress. The point of this post is to announce... I am single again. My relationship with the incredible person I met in August did not work out. And, hard as it may be to believe, I am the one that ended it, even though I didn't want to.


23 August 2018

On FlameCon, the Intergalactic Exchange Program, and Meeting Someone New

I know, I know, absolute word salad of a title. But this last weekend, a friend and I attended FlameCon - New York City's only (that I know of) LGBT+ comic/movie/TV/video game/overall geekery convention. And for a smaller sized two-day convention, a lot happened, including...


  • My friend Lily and I went as Amilyn Holdo from "Star Wars" and Starfleet Academy Saavik from "Star Trek" (based on the Starfleet Academy uniforms from the Kelvin timeline) and made many references to an "Intergalactic Exchange Program" (also Amilyn and Saavik are both lesbians and you cannot convince me otherwise.)
  • I met my favourite webcomic artist of all time, and she was so nice to me! I was a little (okay, a LOT) nervous because I've met other webcomic artists in the past who were not so warm and cordial. But Megan Rose Gedris, I'm pleased to report, was genuinely kind and inspiring. Plus the glitter in her updo looked SO GOOD.
  • I made tentative plans to maaaaaaybe attend a Star Trek convention in the near future. More on that (if it ends up happening) in the future.
  • I met someone new...

They are not pictured in this photo, I just wanted to show off our intergalactic exchange program.

If I know my audience (and I do know some of you irl), it's that last point that a lot of you will inevitably be curious about.

There's honestly not much to tell (yet) but here's the main breakdown of how we met...

At the con itself, there was a lesbian/sapphic meetup, which of course Amilyn and Saavik (and the sapphic cosplayers portraying them - aka us) had to go check out. And in that room full of women and women-aligned folk who loved women and other women-aligned folk, the conversation soon turned to lesbians' seeming inability to ask women out or even flirt with them.

And then I remembered the "Useless Lesbian" cards Sarah made me a few months back:

This is the front. The back has my photo and a little blurb about me
I figured that if anyone would appreciate these cards, it would be this group of people, so of course I handed out the few I happened to have in the bottom of my bag. Much to my surprise, though, far from just getting laughs (though I got plenty of those), I actually was approached by someone and asked for my phone number. This was surprising for many reasons, not least of which that I was in full Vulcan make-up, with the upturned eyebrows and the pointed ears and everything.

But I gave it, and we began texting back and forth. And then we went on our first date a few nights ago. And it... it went really well! Though I hesitate to put a label on this just yet, and though we're really just taking it kind of slow for now, I really like them. I think we're really compatible.

And I'm genuinely surprised that it worked out the way it did. I haven't had much luck when actively seeking out dates, either online or out in places like Stonewall. I'm still working through a plethora of self esteem issues that make me hesitate to talk to people the way I wish I could. A couple months ago I had a minor flirtation with someone but it never extended past that.

But this is different, somehow. It just feels a lot more natural. And it just kind of... happened, without me really looking that hard for it.

I'm really really looking forward to seeing where this goes. Our second date is next weekend (I wish it could be sooner but I have a lot to take care of this weekend, but at least we text every evening) and so far it's going great. I like them a lot. I think meeting them was the best thing that happened at FlameCon.

Con season isn't over yet! I will be attending NYCC as Dr McCoy, and possibly Northeast Trek Con in Albany (not sure yet if I wanna do that as Saavik or McCoy)

Dif-tor heh smusma! (That's "Live Long and Prosper" in Vulcan!)

-Nym

12 June 2018

A Very Gay Sunday


Pride Month has come to NYC and I don't know about any of you guys, but I intend to enjoy it to the fullest. I'm still not used to having events where I can celebrate being completely, unabashedly myself, but it's thoroughly freeing to be able to do so!

This past Sunday, the 10th, I attended not one, but two LGBT+ events to kick off my Pride Month. In the afternoon, I was on a private tour of the Lesbian Herstory Archives, which I had never been to before. And in the evening I met up with Sarah, and we attended a trivia competition with the Gay Geeks of New York at the LGBT Centre in Chelsea. (We didn't win but we made friends and had a lot of fun.)

And that's not all! I'm attending numerous LGBT events later this month as well, and if you're in the NYC area I strongly encourage you join me there!


20 February 2017

When New York Lets You Down

New York City has a lot of stuff. Lots of great restaurants, lots of parks, lots of tourist attractions, and lots of museums. I've made it my mission to visit every single museum in New York City - and I mean in all five boroughs (though I admit I've been slacking on Staten Island). Some of them I've liked so much that I've gone back to visit them multiple times. The New-York Historical Society, the American Museum of Natural History, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and the Museum of the City of New York have all gotten me to come back not just once, but twice! And I loved Hamilton Grange so much that I ended up volunteering there!

And some of them have... well, let me down. (For example the Neue Galerie, which has beautiful works on display but everyone on the staff is a total bitch - not going back when y'all are that rude to everyone!)

This past Saturday, I had my third date with an incredible girl. (Our fourth is on Friday to the opening of the NYPL's Love in Venice exhibition - which I am most excited about, and will probably write a blog entry about!) For dates number one and two, we had gone to the Met and to Grand Central Station respectively. For date number three, we decided to check out a museum we had both heard a lot about but never gotten to. I'm talking about Queens' MoMA PS1.



22 January 2017

Why I Marched


"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." ~ Alice Walker.

Unless you've had your head in a hole for the past year or so, you're well aware that yesterday was the largest global protest in history - the Women's March. 3 million people worldwide. Not just women, but men and nonbinary folk. Not just the young, but the old and even children.

The New York Women's March was not as big as DC's, but as NYC is huge it was still pretty big. I heard people saying it was upwards of 300,000 people. And you bet your ass I was one of them.

You see, I've been in a hopeless kinda funk since the outcome of the election. I'll say it, I do not think Tronald Dump should have won. I do not think he even should have had a fighting chance. I don't think his platform of hatred has any place in our world, and for a long time I felt like I just didn't wanna live in it. My decision to go to the Women's March was a last-minute one. I'd heard about it, but thought "What's the point?"

But on Friday I decided, you know what? Fuck it. I'm always saying how much I hate the idea of "slacktivism" - people who make a post on facebook and then think "well I did my part, my work is done, now where are all my likes?" (Side note - if you are unable to do anything else, this criticism does not apply to you. This criticism applies to able-bodied adults who are totally able to contribute time or money to a cause, but instead just use it to get attention online.) So I signed up. At least, I figured, it would be a way to kill a Saturday.

It was so much more than that.


10 December 2016

Ten Cheap NYC Dates I'd Love to Take

One of the quickest and hardest lessons New York will throw at you is that if you want something, you'd better go for it, because your chance will evaporate into thin air quicker than you think, and you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

(In fandom words? Be Alexander "I am not throwing away my shot" Hamilton rather than Aaron "Wait For It" Burr.)

What this means for me? I'm playing the lesbian dating fields again, messaging girls on OKCupid (I never used to message girls first before) and the like. I'm ending 2016 single, but I'm hoping if I play my cards right, I'll either end 2017 not-single or I'll be much more assured in my singleness. And while I'm playing, I might as well list dates I'd like to maybe go on.

Now I should specify. This is not a 'best dates in NYC kind of thing'. Not even a little bit. I haven't been on the East Coast near long enough for that. This is just ten that I would like to go on with someone.

As usual, these are in no particular order other than the order I thought of them.

10 November 2016

I am...


 I used to love the Animaniacs. I used to watch it with my father. Most of the jokes flew over my head, but I still used to love the hell out of this show.

I don't anymore.

19 April 2016

I'm Here, I'm Queer, and God Is It Lonely

I want to fall in love so bad.

It's illogical, of course. Yes, there's that cute security guard in the library at school that I sometimes consider smiling at, but I don't really have a lot of dating options right now, not with a big move looming on the horizon. And San Jose has a significantly lower number of wlw than nearby San Francisco or Santa Cruz (probably because this city is filling up with tech bros and all the queer lady-identified folks like me are leaving).

It's completely impractical of me to want to date someone. But it doesn't stop me from wanting it.

14 February 2016

If You Were My Girlfriend...

  • We’d go on ghost tours of of our city. Not to be scared, but to come back to those “haunted” spots later, to leave white lilies for the ghosts, to say “we’re sorry someone hurt you”
  • You’d cuddle me under a wool blanket as we watched “X-Files” on a laptop when it was raining outside. We’d be eating take-out Chinese and I’d be doing my best not to spill on the blanket your grandma knit for you.
  • I’d travel across town to buy you soup from that one place (you know the one) when you had a cold.
  • We’d drive out to the country to see the stars. I’d point out my favourite constellations. You’d tease me for only knowing four. We’d make up our own constellations and see who could come up with the best myths for them.
  • I’d make you your own tea blend on Adagio teas, and spend hours coming up with the perfect add-ins to represent what I love about you. I’d make you mix CDs. I’d make you drawings. I’d make you daisy chains.
  • We’d go to art museums together and hold hands in front of the masterpieces. “Look,” I’d say, looking at the painting, “isn’t this beautiful?” “Yes,” you’d answer, looking only at my face, “it is.” I would grown and chide you for being so cheesy, but secretly I’d be thrilled.
-Nym-