A Post to Process My Own Grief

Image via Freeimages.

Yesterday I public-cried in the art section on the fourth floor of the Barnes and Noble in Union Square.

I had just found out via facebook that my middle school band teacher, Mr. Tyler, had died.

Why I Marched

"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." ~ Alice Walker.

Unless you've had your head in a hole for the past year or so, you're well aware that yesterday was the largest global protest in history - the Women's March. 3 million people worldwide. Not just women, but men and nonbinary folk. Not just the young, but the old and even children.

The New York Women's March was not as big as DC's, but as NYC is huge it was still pretty big. I heard people saying it was upwards of 300,000 people. And you bet your ass I was one of them.

You see, I've been in a hopeless kinda funk since the outcome of the election. I'll say it, I do not think Tronald Dump should have won. I do not think he even should have had a fighting chance. I don't think his platform of hatred has any place in our world, and for a long time I felt like I just didn't wanna live in it. My decision to go to the Women's March was a last-minute one. I'd heard about it, but thought "What's the point?"

But on Friday I decided, you know what? Fuck it. I'm always saying how much I hate the idea of "slacktivism" - people who make a post on facebook and then think "well I did my part, my work is done, now where are all my likes?" (Side note - if you are unable to do anything else, this criticism does not apply to you. This criticism applies to able-bodied adults who are totally able to contribute time or money to a cause, but instead just use it to get attention online.) So I signed up. At least, I figured, it would be a way to kill a Saturday.

It was so much more than that.

Where I've Been

I've been really really shitty about updating this blog as of late. Or, really, since the election. I haven't really had the spoons (to use a phrase familiar to mental illness communities) to come up with blog content, and to be perfectly honest I'd rather not post a bunch of subpar content. I mean what am I really going to post? "I just marathonned the entire series of 'Friends' again and here are the most NYC moments in every season as well as the moments which made me go 'what the fuck that would never happen.'

(Actually... that might not be a bad idea...)

That coupled with the winter weather (while snow is very pretty, the cold is giving me Seasonal Depression™ something fierce) and the fact that most of my free time when I do have spare spoons has been spent researching Norse mythology and Puritan history for a writing project I've been working on since September (though I may eventually write a blog entry about Norse mythology if I can figure out how to do so)...

Well, it spells bad news for my blogging creativity.

Not to worry, though. Despite my dread about Inauguration Day (ugh) this blog, though dormant, is not dead. Here are three things I've done so far in January that just aren't enough for a full blog entry:

1. Got a second job

Doin' that "New York Hustle". I'm now working part-time as a valet for the company Luxe Valet. Basically, it's a similar concept to Uber or Lyft, except instead of demanding a cab, users anywhere in the city can have someone come pick up their car and bring it to a garage or vice versa. So I get to see a lot of the city as I park people's cars for them to make a bit of spare change.

Truth be told the job gives me a lot of anxiety, too, but I need the money, and it can be kinda fun on slower days.

2. Celebrated Alexander Hamilton's Birthday

An annual tradition for me! This year, Sarah and I got him a (small) cake at a bakery in Brooklyn Heights. We ate to his memory, this sugary concoction of chocolate cake and raspberry filling and vanilla buttercream and chocolate ganache.

I also shared the cake with my roommate, another Ham fan, and we drank champagne out of my Hamilton-Burr dueling shot glasses and did dramatic readings of some of the Hamilton-Laurens letters.

It was perfect.

3. SAW HAMILTON!!!

Yes I actually need to show off a little because I'm still in shock and I'm so excited that this actually happened! Sarah bought me the tickets because she is the most incredible and selfless human being, and I - who's wanted nothing more than to see this musical since before it even premiered - finally got to be in the room where it happens. (Or at least in the Richard Rodgers Theatre, centre orchestra because OH MY GOD.)

Guys, believe the hype. It was so good. It was a god damned emotional rollercoaster (Sarah and I were both weeping throughout "It's Quiet Uptown") and though none of the OBC is left, the new cast members were phenomenal. I actually think I might prefer Brandon Victor Dixon as Aaron Burr to Leslie Odom Jr. as Aaron Burr, partially because Dixon's portrayal is so different than Odom's.  And Jordan Fisher as Philip was way way too adorable.

I cannot gush enough at how much I loved finally seeing this show.

So there you have it! That's what I've been up to as of late. I hope I get to do a more substantial blog entry soon. Conversely, if anyone wants me to blog about "Friends" or about Norse mythology, you just let me know.
-Nym