The Serpent Man, A Cryptid Nobody Asked For

Did you know that in the Pacific Northwest, dockworkers and boat owners use those inflatable air dancer things (you know, the ones you usually see at used car dealerships) to scare seals and sea lions away from the docks?

The poor pinnipeds stay away from these giant wiggling creatures, but the catch is that they need to be kept turned on, because if they leave them turned off for long, the intelligent sea lions might figure out they're not actually alive. That they're fakes.

But what if they were real? What if the seals and sea lions know something we don't?

The seals call them "Serpent Men", due to their elongated bodies and erratic wiggly movements, just like a sea serpent.

You see them in the expected places, like - as mentioned before - used car dealerships, and often those are cleverly crafted fakes. Often. Not always.

You may one day come across a Serpent Man, however, in a place it doesn't seem to belong. On a quiet residential street, perhaps, or under a pier on the beach. You may go up to turn it off and be unable to find a switch. If you're smart, you won't keep looking for one. This is when you will run.

"Run?" you may be asking me, incredulously. "Who in their right mind would run from one of those?" Those of you asking that will wish you had run.

The very real Serpent Man will take this opportunity to grab you in one of its slithering, snakelike arms, with surprising strength. You can kick, flail, scream, bite all you want, but they feel no pain. They will not drop you. You should have run.

It will place one of its tubes - some of them have tubelike appendages at the ends of their arms like fingers, some on top of their heads like hair - up your nose, further up than you thought possible, until, much like those who practise mummification in the days of old Egypt, it reaches your brain. It will swirl its tube around in your skull and once your brain is liquefied it'll suck it out to feed and drop your corpse to be discovered later, mysteriously dead with no fingerprints for the cops to identify your murderer with.

Your body will be dead but the fate of your mind is far worse. Your mind will be trapped in a Hell-like prison with thousands of other minds, screaming in agony for all eternity. Scream all you want. No one can hear you. There is no escape.

So you see, you should listen to the seals. They are wiser than you may think. You can never be too careful. That innocent-looking air dancer at your local used car dealership? Maybe, just maybe, it's a Serpent Man. Waiting. Biding its time. One day the car dealer will go to turn it off and it won't deflate. Don't get too close to it.

Sure, it could be a fake.

But why take that chance?

-Nym-

P.S. Most of the more horrifying aspects of this story came from Sarah's mind, so thank her for any nightmares. I know I'm certainly a little more afraid of these fucking things now thanks to her.