We did a pretty good mix of activities, too - from the nature related (taking a boat up to the falls, and taking a nature walk downriver), to touristy (look I know Clifton Hill is cheesy but we were on vacation and we love kitsch), to living like the real Canadians (by which I mean we ate a lot of Tim Horton's)
It was a short trip, yes - but it was a much-needed fun one!
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| Bagged milk! |
Our second day is when the real fun began...
The first thing I need to explain to all of you (and my Canadian readers, please feel free to roast the absolute shit out of me for this) is that Sarah and I are damn near obsessed with Tim Horton's. This obsession began as a joke - there's an original character of ours who really loves Tim Horton's and we started going to the one in New York whenever we were in Midtown because of that - but it very quickly became a real, true love.
So it's no surprise that we had this for breakfast on our first full day in the Great White North. (I say like it wasn't hot as tits the whole time...) In fact, the first souvenir we bought was a Tim Horton's mug. Because we had to. We also heard our very first "eh" of the trip here - when a man in front of us in line turned around to ask Sarah, "You're really excited about that chocolate eclair, eh?"
Canadians, I love you, you friendly bastards.
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| View from behind the big waterfall |
But I can also say what really made more of an impression on us was how different Canadian tourist attractions are from New York City attractions. By which I mean... Sarah and I both work in NYC tourism. She works at the 9/11 Memorial and Museum; I work at Ellis Island and have volunteered at other NPS sites (as my entries on Hamilton Grange have shown so many of you). In NYC there are security guards out the wazoo. Both the 9/11 museum and Ellis Island require guests to go through airport-level security (real TSA shit with x-ray tunnels for your bags and everything), and there are security guards throughout the museums.
Canada... isn't like that. There were no security guards, or even tour guides that we saw! Not down in Journey Behind the Falls, anyway. (Not at any of the falls-related attractions we did that day). Do you guys just, like, trust people more in Canada or something?
After our journey behind the falls, we took a bus about 20 minutes north and did a nature walk along the side of the rapids for a while. This was really nice. The area wasn't as developed as the areas immediately surrounding the falls themselves, so we got to see what looked to our untrained NYC eyes like real Canadian nature. Of course, I don't know how real it was. Who knows how many of those plants were native plants and how many were just planted by some white dude god knows how many years ago? But it was beautiful.
This nature walk worked up one hell of an appetite, though. And of course, since we were in Canada anyway, we had to make our lunch a Canadian classic...
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| POUTINE! Looks disgusting, tastes amazing. |
After this delicious, filling, Canadian lunch we wandered around the touristy Clifton Hill and did some touristy things. Living in New York City, I hear a lot of people (and I myself have been guilty of this too) being a total snob about avoiding doing anything that can be seen as 'touristy'. But sometimes, if you just let yourself enjoy things and don't give a fuck what others think, you can have a lot of fun doing those same activities everyone else turns their nose up at. This is a lesson I am still teaching myself.
All this is to say we rode the Niagara Falls Skywheel. Because I love ferris wheels.
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| View from the top |
Sarah had no idea what was coming next, though. Knowing her love for all forms of performance, I had booked us seats at Oh Canada, Eh? This dinner theatre show is three solid hours of pure, kitschy Canadiana. The food is Canadian. The songs are Canadian. The actors are Canadian. The family seated at the table with us was Canadian! (Also they were absolutely delightful.)
There's really very little plot to the show itself. Really, it's a group of young performers (many of them fresh out of college) singing songs that were written or made famous by Canadians - from classic 40s tunes to modern pop songs. ("Call Me Maybe" was included.) Canadian stock characters like a Quebecois fisherman, a mountie, a WWI soldier, and Anne Shirley herself all made appearances. It was a lot of fun, and very tongue-in-cheek. This was not a serious examination of Canadian culture - it was Canadians poking fun at perceptions of their culture.
The food was all Canadian too. Pea soup, PEI potatoes, battered haddock, maple-chocolate cake, and more! Very enjoyable. Neither Sarah nor myself had ever been to a dinner theatre performance before this - but I'd love to attend more in the future!
Shoutout to our waiter Matthew for being amazing, btw. In the extremely unlikely situation where he somehow finds this blog, I wish I could afford to tip you hundreds of loonies, Matt!
After the show ended, Sarah bought a program and went on a mission to have every cast member sign it. Me, I had to find my childhood literary heroine Anne Shirley for a very excited photo op. (Please kindly ignore my food baby, I had just finished eating a 4-course Canadian feast.)
But one of the sweetest parts of the night - dare I say of the whole vacation - came after the show. The lovely woman manning the box office noticed we were waiting for a bus or something to come. It was after 10 PM and we were tired - and she had us come inside to wait while she called a cab. (Side note, the sentence "Hi, can I get a taxi to Oh Canada Eh please?" was adorable.)
And thus our first day ended.
Day three - Sarah's actual birthday - started with a downpour of rain. This turned out to be alright, because the rain didn't last that long, and it made the rest of the day overcast and much less hot than the previous two days. (We still put on sunscreen just in case. You can still get sunburned when it's cloudy, people!)
We started with a very large breakfast at a UFO-themed diner down the street from our hotel. Yes, you read that correctly. The Flying Saucer is a UFO-themed diner. Sarah and I both love cheesy UFO lore. We also both love diners. This was a perfect place to start her birthday!
But this diner is not just riding off the novelty of eating in a UFO-shaped building. The food (eggs, chocolate chip pancakes, and sausage for Sarah; eggs florentine for myself) was both affordable and delicious, and the waitress was as sweet as the maple syrup Sarah drenched her yummy-looking pancakes with!
Once we were fueled up, we rode the bus down to the falls again so we could take the Hornblower cruise that goes right up as close to Horseshoe Falls as one can possibly get.
I confess... I actually was on the fence about doing this attraction. I take the boat to Ellis Island on the days I work there, so riding a boat doesn't have a lot of novelty for me, and besides, the line for it had looked so long on the previous day.
But honestly I think I may have enjoyed the ride even more than Sarah did. For one thing, the line wasn't very long so early in the morning. And for another thing, riding right up into the mist from the falls until you can't see anything but the water before and the froth all around you... it's honestly one of the most unreal, indescribable experiences I can think of. It was like paying a visit to a location from mythology - possibly Ginnungagap. We got soaked.
The rest of the day was mostly spent doing more fun activities, along with a light lunch at - where else - Tim Horton's. (WHAAAAT?)
For Sarah's birthday dinner, we went to a Thai place called Mai Thai. I enjoy Thai food well enough, but it's by no means my favourite. (I'll eat it but I'll rarely crave it or seek it out.) But it was Sarah's birthday, not mine, and Sarah loves Thai food - mango sticky rice is actually her favourite dessert, and that girl has one hell of a sweet tooth - so Thai food is what I knew I had to do for her.
The food here was pretty phenomenal. And one compliment I need to pay the place is that they are not skimpy with it. My yellow curry was loaded with tofu, not like some of the curries I've had at other Thai places where you get like 3 or 4 pieces tops. And Sarah's dessert was drenched in that sticky sweet coconut syrup that makes it, well, a real dessert.
It was perfect.
After dinner we went back down to the Falls. They light them up at night, and at 10PM they have a fireworks show! This of course was perfect because Sarah, it turns out, was born at around 10PM.
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| The fireworks |
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| The falls lit up |
The next morning we had one final Tim Horton's breakfast - and one final view of those big beautiful falls - before boarding the train back to the states. And while I didn't want my vacation to end, coming back into Grand Central reminded me that NYC can be pretty spectacular as well.
Still, thank you Canada, for showing us a good time for Sarah's birthday.
-Nym
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